From Chaos to Connection: A Weekend Project Done Right

Turn home improvement headaches into opportunities for teamwork, laughter, and lasting connection.

We moved in nearly six months ago. Most of the house is set up, but we stashed all the unsorted items in the basement—classic, right?

The before picture (or part of it...;) (Photo shows a messy and unorganized basement with piles of stuff scattered along the floor.)

When our Christmas gear arrived from Washington after the holidays, those two giant boxes had nowhere to go. Geoff needed the basement as his workshop, and I decided it was time to get organized. I found some inspiration on Pinterest, landed on a simple design we could build, and proposed it as our weekend project.

The DIY Struggle Is Real

Home projects can be tricky for couples. Different strengths, commitment levels, and ideas often clash, creating tension instead of teamwork. Many couples end up bickering, disconnected, and unhappy with both the project *and* each other.

Geoff and I learned these lessons the hard way during a DIY remodel, but luckily, I was developing my coaching program at the time and used the experience to refine tools couples can use to navigate projects more successfully.

Here’s how we turned a potentially stressful weekend into an opportunity for connection and teamwork:

Tip #1: Find Your Why

Start with a shared purpose for the project. Why does it matter to both of you?

Geoff needed clear space and an organized system for his tools. I wanted a clean, functional basement and love building things together. Plus, I REALLY enjoy watching Geoff nerd out with his power tools.

Having a shared purpose helped us stay focused and connected, even when things got frustrating. Those early moments at Lowe’s—when Geoff was overwhelmed by the noise and chaos of the big box store—tested us, but keeping our end goal in mind made it easier to push through.

Tip #2: Know Your Partner and How to Support Them

Everyone has different stressors and needs during a project. Understanding what helps your partner stay calm and engaged can make all the difference.

At Lowe’s, I saw Geoff’s enthusiasm dip. Instead of getting annoyed, I validated his frustration (yes, Lowe’s is loud, and their wood selection is terrible), used humor to lighten the mood, and offered a reassuring touch to help him relax.

Our Lowe's sled dogs kept us and the rest of the store amused. They were unhelpful otherwise..... (photo shows Geoff pushing a Lowe's cart with two dogs at the front attached by leashes pulling the cart while Geoff tries to keep control through the aisles of the major hardware store chain.)

In turn, Geoff didn’t take his stress out on me and even thanked me later for my support. Once we left the store, his excitement returned, and we were back on track.

Tip #3: Play to Your Strengths

Divide roles based on what each of you enjoys and does best. Geoff has far more technical experience, while I’m better at design and organizing. He handled the building; I took charge of the layout and details.

We stuck to our roles, checked in occasionally for advice, and avoided offering unsolicited opinions. This mutual respect kept the process smooth and enjoyable.

Tip #4: Make It Fun

Projects don’t have to be all business. We kept the mood light by playing music, cracking jokes, and celebrating each other’s progress. Small moments of gratitude—like saying, “You’re doing great!” or “This looks amazing!”—helped us feel supported and proud of our teamwork.

Geoff and his power tools. I'm sanding the crappy Lowe's wood off camera... (photo shows Geoff using a power driver screwing two pieces of wood together on saw horses in a garage).

Tip #5: Go at the Slowest Person’s Pace

When one of us needed a break, we stopped. Pushing through exhaustion or overwhelm only leads to frustration and burnout. Respecting each other’s limits ensured we stayed connected and avoided unnecessary conflict.

The Outcome

Voila! The finished project. (photo shows the finished bin storage built from 2x4's and large black storage bins).

It took longer than expected (thanks, Pinterest, for lying about build times!), but by the end of the weekend, our basement was tidy, organized, and functional.

Every time we head downstairs now, we smile—not just because of the clean space, but because of what we built *together.*

These tips and more are in my new book, 'Fire It Up', along with exercises to help you practice these skills in your own relationship. Check it out on bookshop.org or wherever books are sold. You can get it here.

💡 If you’ve read it, please leave a review! It helps others find the book and take the first steps toward building stronger, happier relationships. I appreciate you! 💕